Sunday, 3 July 2016

Things That Introverts Would Understand

If you don't know already, I'm an introvert. This means that I tend to keep to myself or around close friends, I don't usually go out, and I'm perfectly content with sitting at home by myself reading a book, listening to music or watching videos on youtube for hours at a time. Here, I have made a list of different situations that an introvert would understand.

1. Dreading Speaking Exams
In my school, we have speaking exams for languages and English (but we don't do English Speaking at GCSE). I would always get so stressed for these exams but not because I wasn't prepared or because I hate exams; because I had to speak.
For a speaking assessment last year, everyone had to prepare an argument for a topic of their choice (I think I chose bullying) and it had to be at least one minute long. You're probably thinking: "pfft, what's a minute? That's fine!"
Not. For. Me.
Every second felt like an entire year, and my voice shook so much that I had to start sentences over. But guess what?
We had to speak in front of the whole class. And judging from the fact that the lesson before an entire table of boys laughed at me for no reason, you can guess how terrified I was. I thought I was lucky because we wouldn't be speaking in register order (my surname unfortunately starts with a C so I'm always one of the first) oh no. We got the lollipop sticks of doom.
Every second of waiting for the teacher to pull out the lollipop stick with my name on killed me. It felt like waiting for the hunger games to begin - only that I would be alone. And when I stood up for my inevitable social demise, I freaked. I almost cried. And it turns out that the speaking exam brought my English level down by nearly two grades so that was fun.

2. Hoping for Plans to be Cancelled
I will admit this now: I like sitting alone at home and I like going out with friends. However, if I've been out every day for more than three days then I like to have a day to just sit at home and do nothing. I schedule time to do nothing. (That's actually quite bad). I will admit, sometimes when my friends say "I'm not very well" or "I have to go out with my parents" I usually respond with "awww shame" and have a secret party in my room with Sam and Dean Winchester (as in, I watch Supernatural. Sam and Dean don't come to my house).

3. "What's your name again?"
Since I am an introvert, I don't speak much to strangers and acquaintances (*cough* and enemies) in school. This isn't because I have nothing to say; it's because I'm afraid of losing whatever social value I have if I breath wrong. Therefore, there's not many people that know my name outside of my form, friendship group and classes. I will be sitting down and the person giving out the books will say to one of my friends "who's Caitlin?" and I'm awkwardly left squeaking out the words "that's me" and instantly regretting opening my mouth.

4. Always Being the Target
Lately I've noticed that the quietest people tend to be the people that get picked on the most in school. In my opinion, it's because we, generally, don't react to much in fear of being ridiculed for the reaction that we have. This makes the people picking on us push even further for a reaction, which results in us bottling everything up and trying not to cry/scream/punch them.

5. Feeling Relieved When you Get Home
I don't know about anyone else, but whenever I get home my mood immediately increases. I literally sigh and throw my bag as I collapse on the sofa, as though a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders...that probably says a lot about my opinions on school.

6. Preferring Books to People
I don't understand this, but people in my year at school seem to think that reading books is a bad thing because we're forced to read in English (*cough* Macbeth) but I actually love books. In all honesty, I prefer books to quite a lot of people. If I choose to go somewhere with you instead of reading a book or a Wattpad story, you are special and be grateful!

1 comment:

  1. AHHH, I love this post. I, for some reason, always end up being the best friend of the post popular, extroverted girl in class. I can relate to every point you wrote! I hate the fact that people are judged on their shyness. I also had a grade lower from English because I messed up a poem. I even had a grade lower from MATHS because I blanked while standing in front of the class! Overall, I HATE the school system a lot. At least you get to finish a year early *cry*